Episode Transcript

Bunny : (00:00)
Hi there. I’m Bunny Terry, and you’re listening to the I Love New Mexico podcast. Whether you’re a native new Mexican, who’s lived here for your entire life, or you’re just considering a visit, this episode is for you. Join us as we share a lot of New Mexico stories, talk about all things New Mexico, and include topics like what’s magical here, where you ought to visit, what’s happening, and the things you absolutely cannot miss in the land of Enchantment. We’re excited that you’re here and we can’t wait to show you what an amazing place New Mexico is, because let’s face it, I love New Mexico.

Bunny : (00:51)
Our guest on the I Love New Mexico podcast today is Graham Stanford, and Graham lives in Albuquerque. And, um, I got the impression from reading your bio and what you’re doing that, um, we haven’t had a guest like you before. Graham, tell folks who you are and what you’re doing in Albuquerque.

Graham: (01:14)
Well, I hear from Pennsylvania originally and then pretty much was a nomadic person most of my life, um, until I was offered a once in a lifetime opportunity to come to Albuquerque and open up a tango school at La Perta downtown. So, and for context, I’ve been in construction as a carpenter for most of my life until moving here January 1st of last year,

Bunny : (01:45)
A tango school. Um, yeah, talk about that.

Graham: (01:49)
Well, I fell in love with, uh, Argentine tango. My first experience dancing was, uh, in 2005. And then for the next 10 years, I kind of struggled with it, left. It didn’t know why I kept coming back until in 2016. I decided just to go to Buenos Aires and lived there for a little while and study, immerse myself in the dance. And that’s where I fell in love with the social aspects of what this dance is. And it’s not so much an activity down there, it’s a lifestyle. It’s, it’s a way to express yourself, connect with other humans, and the dance comes later. And that’s what I, um, really am excited to bring, uh, my experience, uh, and add it to what’s already here in the community. So there’s, there’s lots of great tango already in New Mexico, and I’m, I’m fortunate to just bring my experience, uh, and add it to the table.

Bunny : (02:53)
Um, that’s interesting because when you say there’s already lots of great tango in New Mexico, I don’t know about that. Um, yeah, yeah. T tell us about that.

Graham: (03:03)
Well, there’s groups up in Taos. There’s groups in Los Alamos. Uh, there’s groups in Santa Fe and there’s other groups here in Albuquerque. So in Tango, one way to think of it is similar to my impression, my, my ignorant impression of swing is that, okay, you have different types of swing. You have what, Lindy, east Coast, west Coast, and we could say the same thing about tango. There’s different styles for different preferences of how to express oneself. So what I bring to the table is a very old style called Ro uh, style. And there’s also another person in Santa Fe, Liz Haight, who also teaches, uh, ro style very well. And,

Bunny : (03:48)
Wait, can you, can you spell that word for us so we have a, so I can see it in my head.

Graham: (03:54)
Oh, true, true, true, true. So, Milon ro, it’s M-I-L-O-N-G. And then from that route, UERO or UERA is represents the person. So Milon ro Milon Ra would be the person that lives to go to the Milonga. So Milonga is the social gathering. Um, it gets complicated here ’cause it’s a dance style called Milonga, and the milonga also the, the social event we go to, and it stems from an African word because the dance is actually rooted in, uh, African culture. Um, so Milonga would represent in, in the ban, etymology the word, it means harmonizing instruments or harmonizing dancers, or harmonizing flow. And I, I love that. I love that the word is rooted in this word that means adjustment, uh, every level coming into one, one moment together. Harmonizing. I really love that. A

Bunny : (05:08)
And how does this is, so, this is so new to me. I mean, when I said that we have a guest like we’ve never had before, um, so your day is spent in this, in this, um, social slash um, tango life. Am I wrong? Am I

Graham: (05:32)
I’ve, I’ve, I’ve been fortunate enough to be given an opportunity to, to not take a second job yet, . So, um, there’s been a lot of support here. So the, the man who brought me out here, Leb Re who owns Les Perta, where the studio is, um, Las Portes is a fascinating venue. It’s ugly on the outside, and then you open up the doors and you’re transported into this like, ancient world with these massive, beautiful doors inside. So last part, thus The Doors is the name of the place. And, and so yeah, for the moment I’m able to immerse myself solely into, um, constructing days and weeks and months to help transmit how this dance can be felt and conversed rather than stepped with left and right foot goes where. So that’s what I learned in Buenos Aires. It was all about how do we move and what are we saying? And they, my teachers down there never talked about where your foot goes. It, it was, it was awesome. I never, ’cause I’m a bit dyslexic with the body sometimes, I, I’ve, the dancers help me with this. I, if I have to think about where my feet go, I’m a disaster. But without that, I can dance. I, I can’t two step to save my life, but I can tango .

Bunny : (06:59)
So that’s, that is fascinating because when I think about tango, and of course I don’t, I don’t know how to do the dance. Um, I, it’s, it’s intimidating, first of all, it’s, I see it as, as a novice, I see it as really romantic and very fluid and graceful and beautiful, and way, way intimidating. If I were to say, well, Graham, I’m gonna come down to the studio next week and, um, and get involved, how, how does it, how does that work for somebody who has no knowledge? Um, and I can two step and swing to save my life, but it’s, it’s really, um, I mean, it’s one of those dance steps that I’ve never even attempted other than watching because it looks so complex. And those, and the people, people who can tango look like they’ve attained this different level of physical perfection. Am I crazy?

Graham: (08:10)
No, not at all. So there’s, there’s, I think we should delineate, uh, social tango from stage tango. So most of what you see in the media and TV would be classified as stage tango, which can exemplify the, the, the zenith, the, the highest form that a human body can move with. Another that would be stage tangled. These are people that are physically have either trained or naturally blessed with the capacity to move in complex ways. However, in stage tango, it’s usually choreographed because it has to be, for the most part, at least the root social tango. There’s, there’s no choreography. And mistakes are welcome. And the most unlikely people in Deloro that ev the most unlikely people can be the most beautiful dancers in tango. Um, it doesn’t matter the age. In fact, some of my favorite dancers in the world are in their seventies or eighties.

Graham: (09:20)
Uh, so age doesn’t matter. Um, body shape doesn’t matter. Background doesn’t matter. Uh, gender doesn’t matter. Nothing matters other than the human spirit that wants to connect to another. So in the style that I hope to bring and open the doors for, if we think of tango sole’s movement and connection, think of all the different body types that practice Tai Chi every day. And you can watch people moving Tai Chi and you’re like, how do they move so smoothly? Well, it just comes from being aware of oneself and make it, make it a daily movement. And then we’ll find that social tango is no different than how we can move when shopping, when waiting in the coffee line, when hanging out with friends. It’s the same movement, it’s the same flow. So usually what I do for an intro class is I, I dispel any of the myths of, of dancing with the Stars and just bring in this kind of playful, interactive motion.

Graham: (10:26)
So that just to disarm fear of doing something wrong, which is very real, coming into something new. But tango, social tango, what I experienced in Argentina was just about going out, having fun, forgetting about life, forgetting about all the hardships, and just having a good time. I mean, for example, when you’re having a conversation, do you, do you care if the other person is perfect with their grammar or do they make a lot of mistakes, but make you laugh? I, I want the latter. So that’s the kind of tangle I’m looking for. I, I don’t want perfection. I want just to have a good time with someone

Bunny : (11:12)
That really speaks to my heart. And I would think to our listeners as well. You said something before that I wrote down, um, and, and I’ve been writing fast because you’ve said a lot of things that I, that I think, you know, when you talk about body awareness and the way that you move when you’re standing in line or when you’re shopping. But I love that you said, um, that in this format that, that you ho it almost sounds like you hosted, I mean, I know there’s teaching, but it’s almost like you’re hosting this space and you said mistakes are welcome, which is a wonderful, it’s a wonderful phrase to hear in today’s world where we’re really our, um, images of how we should behave are dictated by all this seemingly perfection on, um, social media. But you said, um, mistakes are welcome. And it made me think of, um, the Brene Brook, the Brene Brown book, the Gift of Imperfection, and it sounds like you’re talking about, you’re gifting people with the right to be imperfect while they’re being social and active. And, um, I, I, I like that. I, that’s so cool.

Graham: (12:24)
Good, good, good, good. Yeah. I, so what I love about conversation is what I bring into my own personal tango. And, and so actually, I don’t think of myself as a teacher. Um, I like the concept of a guide. I’m just guiding people through an experience that might resonate strongly with them and they can carry with them the rest of her life. And that term was given to me by my current mentor, uh, Brita Winkler, who is, uh, just an awesome maverick in the dance, uh, for many years. And she told me, um, I’m, I’m studying with her to be a better instructor, to learn how to constantly be a better instructor. And she said, you know, ’cause I, I mentioned to her, I, I don’t feel comfortable calling myself a teacher ’cause I’m still learning. She’s like, well, just call yourself a guide. That’s what I do.

Graham: (13:16)
And I was like, okay, perfect. I’m a guide. And we’re both, you know, on this journey for all of us on this journey. So, and as far as mistakes, think of it as, you know, when you’re hanging out with some friends or someone new, like maybe it’s a new person and they mishear you and they say, did you just say this? And you’re like, no, I didn’t say that. But now you have an inside joke. Now you have a phrase between the two of you that wasn’t intended that you can carry with the rest of your life and kind of laugh about it. Well, that’s how Tango should be. If there’s a mis miscommunication in a movement, maybe I intend to take a side step, but my partner feels that we take a forward step. I don’t know, it could turn into something unexpected, but even better. So that’s why I say mistakes are welcome. It’s just like, no, Ana, nobody cares. tan up Tango one. Wow. Yeah. Really.

Bunny : (14:17)
So talk about what you’re offering specifically, um, and where, where is Las Peress?

Graham: (14:25)
So Las Peress is on First Street. It’s 1501st Street Northwest. Um, it’s directly across the street from a really, really good neighborhood, uh, pub called Juno Brewery. Um, so I like having them across the street ’cause it’s good energy.

Bunny : (14:42)
And, and is 1500, is that right downtown?

Graham: (14:46)
It’s close to downtown, yeah. Okay. It’s a few blocks from Mont, but between Montan and, and, uh, 25th, uh Okay. Highway 25. Yeah. Highway

Bunny : (14:56)
25. Okay. So let’s just pretend that we’re speaking with people who, uh, and I know that we have listeners who are like, wait, I wanna do that. How, how do they find you? Where, what are the classes? Uh, they’re the, you know, the sessions, I don’t know what you want to call them, but where, where do they find you and how do they get involved?

Graham: (15:17)
Well, I think the easiest, most direct approach would be the website. Um, so with hyphens, it’s the word porta hyphen al hyphen tango. So, and translate is the door to tango. So puerta aal tango.com.

Bunny : (15:39)
Okay. And we, that link is in our show notes, just so, so people know that we, we definitely, um, have that link in the show notes.

Graham: (15:48)
Okay. Um, and I, and I, and I give weekly free classes too. So I like to give a free class on Mondays from five 30 to six fifteens, 45 minutes. There’s come casual just, you know, I encourage people just come in jeans and a t-shirt and comfortable shoes. You, you don’t have to dress up. Um, since this dance is a dance of the people, a proletariat dance, it’s meant to be coming as you are, you know, as long as it’s clean and, you know, not heavy on any sense, because you’re very close to another person, you’re good. And, uh, we just play around with movement and kind of disarm the body to, to mellow into a moment with another human. It’s 45 minutes of just kind of letting go of the day and interacting with another person, make a new friend. So that’s every Monday, uh, from 5 30, 6 15 from now until July 15th. We have a little break after July 15th, and then also second Saturdays from five 15 to six or five, 10 to six. So, so those are the three

Bunny : (17:02)
Classes.

Graham: (17:03)
Yeah. And I like the second Saturday because directly after that, uh, our community, um, little group, we have like a potluck. Everyone just kind of brings in a dish. It’s very casual, you know, it’s just a way to socialize and talk with people. ’cause often when the dancing starts, you are not really conversing as much. Although I, I do encourage it, you know, off, off lata, you know, off the dance floor. So I, I like that. ’cause it’s, it, and again, it brings communities, social awareness, harmonizing. And then when we go into dance together, it’s all brought into the dance floor. And so after the potluck, I have a social event that’s meant to help new people gain experience in what social dancing’s, like, ’cause there’s a lot of little social morays to, to anything in life. So sometimes I, like, we wanted to create an event where people can feel comfortable entering a social environment with something that’s new for them.

Graham: (18:08)
Realize that nobody’s gonna judge those experienced people there that are just there to help half the floor is to get used to dancing socially in LaRhonda, which is the round, you know, where you’re kind of flowing. Counterclockwise. Counterclockwise because the poets in tango say that’s to keep time from moving forward. So yeah, that you don’t want any sense of time or future in tango. You wanna be just in the present at all moments, no past, no future, just in the moment. So that for 2, 3, 4 hours you can forget the world, forget your taxes, forget your bills, forget your, all this stuff. We have to remember, just tango for me is like, I just get to disappear and not worry. Just connect. Yeah. And the music’s beautiful

Bunny : (19:02)
. And, and you used another phrase that I, that I had to write two phrases that I wrote down where you said you disarm the body and you mellow into a moment. And I, um, you keep, you, you use this, you use language when you’re talking about the dance that is all about also about, um, setting your, your brain and your body free. Am I, is that crazy?

Graham: (19:34)
Yeah. Uh, we would, we definitely wanna cut off the, the brain. So Tango’s a tango will be a challenge in a sense of the, the ego, uh, good or bad is gonna start to chatter. Like, like it does anything in life. It doesn’t matter what we’re doing. Um, we’ll get this, this dialogue in our head that’s down us. Oh, you can’t do that. Or that’s do this, do that, do this, do that. So what I found with, with tango, with Miro style especially, is that I could allow my mind, like allow my mind to just connect with the body. And then this, this quiets me down even further. So the mind connects with the body. I’m not using active thought.

Bunny : (20:25)
I also wanna hear, because I wanna hear how, um, I mean, it’s so cool that Lee Laure has created this space and invited you to be part of it. Um, and that’s a family that’s been in New Mexico for years and years, years and years. But I wanted, I wanna hear about your experience in New Mexico. How has this been for somebody who is not from here?

Graham: (20:51)
Well, well, for context, this is the first time in my life I’ve actually changed my driver’s license to to be in one place so that my friends and family were like, oh wow, okay, so this is real. You are in New Mexico. And, uh, so for context, for years, I, I just, I couldn’t commit to any place. You know, I might have lived in Des Moines for three years and loved it, but I never changed my address. You know, I even know legally I should have, but , you know, and I would just, I don’t know, I’d get listless and want to travel somewhere and or just take off and work in a different part of the world. But when I got here in January of last year, even though I’m a water person and a a a tree, a tree mountain person, I, I haven’t missed it, which is odd.

Graham: (21:48)
I really, I find comfort here. I come from comfort in the, the, the, the sky, the mountains. I, I really like the people here. I like the on la the, the good vibes they carry. I like the grit. I like the weirdness because I find it very, very comforting. You know? ’cause I, I like, I think I’m weird too. So , I, I, I don’t know. It’s just, it just seems honest. I, I really love Albuquerque and every place I go, people seem to be interested in something in addition to what they’re doing, uh, on a daily life. And I also find that comforting and inspiring. And I like the fact that everything’s 20 minutes away too. I can be in the mountains in 20

Bunny : (22:37)
Minutes. Right.

Graham: (22:39)
Fantastic. You know, the Bosque, I could be downtown. I could be at a museum. Yeah, I like the Roadrunners too. re Caminos, you know,

Bunny : (22:50)
You know, um, we used to say that be I raised my kids in Albuquerque, and we used to say that all the time. You know, I grew up in a small town over near Tuum, Kerry, and I grew up in Logan. And, and people from there, you know, it’s a town of 1100 people. And they would say, how can you live in this city? And I like, everything is 20 minutes away. If it’s not closer, you know, if you wanna go to breakfast at the Frontier, it’s 20 minutes. If you wanna go to the tram, it’s 20 minutes. It’s, um, where else can you live in a city of some size that has things like Laputa and, um, and still be only 20 minutes from something that’s completely different. I like that you said that you like the grit and you like the weirdness, because I do feel after, um, being in other places that there is, um, I mean, those are new words that have been used to describe New Mexico. But I agree with you. I mean, we have a lot of grit. I mean, you have to, um, sometimes to survive, um, this desert landscape, but also, um, you ha you can’t be a cookie cutter version of the rest of the world, I don’t think.

Graham: (24:09)
Mm-hmm. No, I, I, I find, I find New Mexico to be singular to itself, which is pretty remarkable in this day and age. So yeah, I find it extremely comforting to be here. And also, I like the mystery. There’s so much more. I, every day I feel like there’s so much more I can discover and, and every time my partner comes out, um, she’s still in New York City, we just get so excited of all the possibilities of places we can explore and experience. And I, I, I like that very much. But, but mainly I’d say my number one attraction for staying here is, has been the people. You know, whether they’re the people coming through, uh, the door at the doors at Las Es, or the ones I find, um, at the coffee shops or, or, um, if you don’t mind, I’ll, I’ll, I’ll plug my, my place I found the most comfort recently was, um, at Zephyr Fitness with Albuquerque Kickboxing.

Graham: (25:11)
This is something that I never thought I’d really have the opportunity to learn. And it, it was really the people that are so chill and so welcoming at this kickboxing gym. It’s, it’s just like another extension of New Mexico where my experience, they’re so, like, there’s no judgment. It’s just like, yeah, come on through. Like, just be cool. Don’t, don’t be a jerk. , I love that. You know, it’s just like you get one chance, like, just don’t be a jerk, you know, but the door’s open and then if you’re a jerk, they close the door on you. And I find that I, I like that lifestyle. It’s like, yeah, everyone’s just, you, you know? And I, I keep meeting just fascinating, interesting people that don’t have any heirs here in Albuquerque.

Bunny : (26:03)
That’s, that is really why I do this podcast is because New Mexico seems to be full of people who are both fascinated and fascinating. I mean, there’s, there’s, um, this awareness of the world as, as, or of, of where we live as full of possibilities. And I, it, I, I’m excited every day. I mean, I, you know, I have a, in fact, I, I thought this mor you know, Graham, I have a full-time job. I mean, and I do a lot of, of work with a nonprofit, a cancer nonprofit in town too. And I always, I’m just gonna be really frank, when I have a podcast scheduled, I’m always like, oh, I, I don’t really have that half hour to give to this. And yet the minute I sit down and start talking to somebody like you who has chosen this path that feels so different and yet so full of possibilities, I’m like, that’s what this is about. That’s what this place that we love is all about, is that there’s so much possibility and you get to be whoever you wanna be as long as you’re not a jerk. Right? Yeah,

Graham: (27:16)
Pretty much. Yeah.

Bunny : (27:19)
Right, right. .

Graham: (27:21)
Yeah.

Bunny : (27:21)
It’s, uh, that’s so interesting. Tell us the name of the gym again.

Graham: (27:26)
So Zephyr, which I love, that name means like, uh, breeze, warm Breeze, Zephyr Fitness, right. Um, run by really awesome family. Um, so I think Tammy, who owns the gym is just a boss human, um, really created a wonderful space. And then also in that space is, uh, Albuquerque a BQ kickboxing. And Coach y is the same, same vibe. I mean, both of ’em have such immense talent and experience, but they just walk softly, you know, and, and really welcome people in. So I never thought I’d get into kickboxing, but you know, I go there for the community and oddly enough, ma Tai is just like Tango . I mean, the parallels are, are, are, are wonderful. I’m like, oh, cool. I’m just actually practicing for Tango and I’m learning how to be a better instructor ’cause their instructors are so good. So I’m like, oh, cool, I’m just taking notes of how to, I can be a better instructor because everyone there is just so, I, I love going there. I don’t know.

Bunny : (28:35)
So we talked about, um, I, I don’t wanna miss an opportunity here. We talked about the Mondays from five 30 to six 15 at Laporta, but if somebody is a more advanced, uh, I mean, are you doing something besides those free classes?

Graham: (28:50)
Oh, yeah, Laporta, I have. So I have, um, after the free intro class, I offer three beginnings classes a week. Um, Nate at the moment, I have them on a 13 class, like linear, linear structure. And it’s meant to be, each class is meant to be like a tapa. Like you go and get a little flavor of another dish that tango has to offer. It is progressive. So, you know, if you drop in first to class number 10, uh, you might have a little bit of a learning curve, but hey, I’d rather have people just start. So on Mondays, Tuesdays and Thursdays, I have the Beginnings class. And then also on Tuesdays and Thursdays I have, uh, more advanced classes. Um, and as far as advanced, it’s still, the way I structure my classes is that if someone brand new comes in, or with very little, well, I shouldn’t say brand new, but, um, with a little experience, I encourage. Let’s see, different miles walked, let’s say someone who’s walked a thousand miles in tango and someone who’s walked 20. ’cause the, the, the walk is tango. It’s not legs flying everywhere. It’s actually in Argentina. If you don’t walk, they don’t, they’re not paying attention to you. It’s La Lata. But I digress. So the way I, I see Grahamthere should be harmonizing. So if I’m an advanced dancer and someone is coming in new and getting their legs, I’m gonna get even more practice that day honing my skills because I have to be even more clear and on point with my technique while I’m working with someone who’s getting their sea legs. So yeah, I have basically, at the moment we make it simple. We got Tango one, tango two, tango three, but we should all be blending together.

Bunny : (30:50)
Wow. Mm-Hmm, beautifully said. Thank you. I think I, so I want folks to know that they can check out our show notes for the website, but I want you to say again what the website is so that people can find you as well.

Graham: (31:07)
Certainly. So it’s uh, porta Al Tango, so Porta Tango and, uh, porta, just way to think about Porta is dal a l tango.com.

Bunny : (31:22)
So the do to Tango. Graham, thank you so much. This has been a beautiful experience for me. I’ve written down so many things that you said that have sort of expanded my mind past where it was a half hour ago. Thank you so much.

Graham: (31:39)
Thank you, Bonnie. No, it’s been a wonderful experience. Thank you, .

Bunny : (31:43)
And, um, I’m gonna come down on a Monday evening and step in.

Graham: (31:48)
Ah, please do. That’d be lovely. I’ll do the

Bunny : (31:50)
Walk .

Graham: (31:51)
Okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Excellent.

Bunny : (31:54)
Thanks to all of you for taking the time to listen to the I Love New Mexico podcast. If you’ve enjoyed this episode, please feel free to share it with your friends on social media or by texting or messaging or emailing them a copy of the podcast. If you have a New Mexico story that you’d like to share with us, don’t hesitate to reach out. Our email address is I love New Mexico blog@gmail.com and we are always, always looking for interesting stories about New Mexico. Subscribe, share, and write a review so that we can continue to bring you these stories about the Land of Enchantment. Thank you so much.