Episode Transcript

Bunny : (00:00)
Hi there. I’m Bunny Terry, and I’m the host of the I Love New Mexico podcast. We talk about everything here. There are no boundaries. We talk to people who are from all corners of the state, people who are chefs, who are tourists, who are artists, who are Chamber of Commerce executives, and who are from ranch families that have been here for hundreds of years. New Mexico is enchanting, and it’s interesting, and I, I can’t believe I get to do this job. New Mexico is so amazing, and I invite you to come along for the ride on the I Love of New Mexico podcast. Thanks for being here.

Bunny : (00:45)
I’m so excited on the, I love New Mexico podcast. Today we have my, I, I feel like relatively new friend, Lynn Carpenter and Lynn lives in Santa Fe, um, volunteers her time for a number of causes, but spends the bulk of her time helping others, um, in her profession and in her personal life. So Lynn, I’m so happy that you’re on the podcast and I want folks to hear who you are and what you do. So welcome.

Lyn : (01:15)
Thank you, Bunny. I’m thrilled to be here. Thank you for the opportunity, .

Bunny : (01:21)
I just, I love, so the way that this came about is that Lynn commented on a post that I put on about, um, stepping Down as the board chair, the Cancer Foundation, and she made a comment and I thought, you know, sometimes this just comes to you. Uh, we do this. So there are no boundaries in the, I love New Mexico podcast in terms of the topics that we talk about, but sometimes I see somebody online and I think that is somebody that the rest of New Mexico needs to know about. So, Lyn, I wanna hear, what are, are you a new Mexican by birth? What, if not, what brought you here and what are you doing with your time now?

Lyn : (02:00)
Oh my gosh, I wish I were a New Mexican by birth. The first time my husband Brian and I came to Santa Fe was in 2006, and it was over Christmas. We had, um, our two sons who were, one was a freshman in college and one was a junior in high school. So we were gonna go skiing at Pagosa Springs and decided to spend Christmas in Santa Fe. There was so much snow on the ground that year, and it was gorgeous, and, And it was love at first sight. Um, and so literally we have been coming almost annually, since 2016. And then, oh gosh, a while, probably 12 years ago, my husband had started a new job. We always came for a week, the first week in August to escape the Dallas-Fort Worth heat. And my husband said, I can’t take a full week. I’ve just started this new job. So he came in and flew home, um, after the weekend, and I had rented this little casita kind of in between the plaza and the rail yard district. I walked everywhere. I did a yoga and painting retreat all in one. Wow. I met some amazing women, and there is nothing like experiencing a place on foot. It’s one thing to be in a car, but to walk. And, and I walked everywhere and I just got such a feel for the culture and the vibe here. And I went home and I announced to Brian, I don’t know about you, but I’m retiring in Santa Fe. And he said, well, I guess I’m retiring in Santa Fe . So that’s, that’s a kind of how we got here. Um, the following year I had saved all these Zillow listings, not that we were ready to purchase anything, but I, we wanted to get a feel for what parts of Santa Fe could we have courses. And, um, anyway, long story. We, and I’ll, I’ll break it down, but, um, we looked at all these places and, um, my husband loved, um, this specific area and kind of northwest Santa Fe and he said, let’s build. And I said, no, that’s crazy. And so anyway, he said, just humor me. We found, we found a piece of land and the sellers came out to meet us. We instantly connected with them. They’re mutual friends of ours, Bunny John and Lynn Arnold. So we immediately connected with them. And, um, I had told my husband the night before, the only way I’d build is if we could build a home with a central court courtyard. So John and Lynn are walking us around the property, showing us the, you know, the beautiful, I mean, 360 degree views. And John said, well, we were gonna build here, but we don’t need 12 acres. So we, but we were gonna put a home with the central courtyard on it. And Brian went, what? Oh my gosh, that’s kismet. So we went to their office, he gave us the plans, and, um, we ended up buying the land in 2015. Um, sat on it for a few years, and finally my husband said, if we don’t build now, we’re gonna get priced out. So we built now, and we weren’t ready to live here full time. We were going back and forth between Dallas-Fort Worth because of my husband’s job. And then Covid hit, and like so many people, um, he’s now able to work from home. And he said, Hey guys, you know, I have a home in Santa Fe. I can just as easily work from Santa Fe as I can here. And they said, do it. So that is definitely a silver lining, uh, for us, for Covid.

Bunny : (06:00)
And then you came here and is this is what you do now new, or were you doing that where you were before?

Lyn : (06:08)
Interestingly, I got my certification. So I am certified in a coaching method called the Equine Geal Coaching Method. Um, it’s based on gestalt, which is a therapeutic modality. It’s a German word, and the closest English translation is wholeness. So Gestalt says, we all have these countless parts of ourselves, but some are really known and others not so much. Good girls don’t behave like that. And there are parts of ourselves that we’ve learned through social conditioning to, to put what I call in the shadow. And Gestalt says, no, we need all of those parts to be whole worthy individuals. And, um, I immediately, um, just connected. I have had a lifelong passion for personal healing, personal development. And when I found this program, it combined my passion for healing and my passion for horses. And I was all in, um, it was a two year program, very intense. Um, and I got my certification in 2018, and we literally moved into this home Labor Day weekend of 2018. And a couple weeks later in September, I got my certification. So it all kind of dovetailed how the timing worked out.

Bunny : (07:34)
That’s so exciting. And, and when, um, say you are, um, uh, it’s women, right? It’s you, you

Lyn : (07:43)
Work Yes, mainly women. I’ve, I’ve worked with some men, but it’s mainly women.

Bunny : (07:49)
And so if somebody, um, how does it work in practical terms?

Lyn : (07:55)
So horses are prey animals, and that means they’re in the food chain. And their species has survived for over 2 million years, I believe, as prey animals, um, without being eaten. So their ability to read the energetic field has kept that species alive. They know, okay, the mountain lions up there sleeping, but the second he kind of wakes up those horses know it and they’re out. Um, so what my, the founder of our program, her name is Melissa Pierce, she is a lifelong horse woman and also, um, a 40 plus year therapist. And she had a home in Flagstaff, lived in Phoenix, but spent her summers in Flagstaff to escape the heat. And so she’d bring her coaching counseling clients up to her ranch for long intensive weekends. And she had one rule, don’t go on the same side of the fence as my horses, but she said, inevitably she’d see people at the fence and the hor there would always be a horse there.

Lyn : (09:03)
And she said, they’re standing in knee deep grass. So she said, if it was one horse, I would’ve not even thought about it. But she said it was almost like, Hey, I got that one yesterday. This one’s yours. And she said she noticed in her afternoon sessions with these clients, they were much more accessible to her counseling after being with the horse. So this was pre-internet, and she decided to start playing with it and started asking clients if they would get in her round pin with her horses. And what she discovered was incredible. Sometimes they would Panama, sometimes they would work energetically on a client. And she just really started this practice. And, um, before she knew it, people were saying, can you create something to teach this method to us? And um, so horses, I have three right now. I have one that’s a, a boundary teacher.

Lyn : (10:04)
Like he loves to get in people’s personal space, and horses are big. So you, you know, , they’re big. So he’s great at teaching boundaries. Um, and a lot of women in particular have weak boundaries. Um, I’m sure that’s not news to you , but No, no, no, no. It’s absolutely cost me a lot of heartache in my lifetime. Exactly. So, so strong boundaries are something that are just imperative to really living authentically. Um, I have another horse that’s an energy healer, and she, um, she’ll just hone in on someone. I have a perfect example and a beautiful picture of this, but, um, I did an event called Cowgirls Horses and sunsets last summer, and my horse fancy, um, honed in on this woman. I think there were 10 people in the circle. It was a pretty large circle. And she honed in on this woman and just went right to her during the meditation and just had her nose on her head and her eyes go half masked, and it’s the most beautiful thing.

Lyn : (11:17)
She must have spent 15 minutes just connecting with that woman. And it was the most beautiful thing. Everyone in the circle was just in awe of it. Um, and then I have crush who’s just a goofball. He’s the horse I ride, and he’s funny and he loves to make people laugh. And, um, they, they bring so much to the coaching practice. I’m someone who has done years and years and years and years of counseling on the couch. Um, and you know, I, when I experienced this equine gestalt method, I was blown away one session with a gifted coach and a horse, something that I had talked in therapy about for 20 plus years gone. It was, I was done, it was, it was over. So, wow, the,

Bunny : (12:16)
So it’s less about riding and more about interacting.

Lyn : (12:20)
It’s all on the ground. It’s ev so you don’t need to have horse experience. You, most people that come out love horses, some have zero horse experience, have never been around them before in their lives, and others have been lifelong horsewomen. Um, but there is just something I, the irony of the horses. And when I go into a session with someone, I never know what they’re going to reveal to me. But oftentimes I take my cues and how I coach from the horse most of the time, not just oftentimes . Um, yeah, it’s, it’s amazing. That’s so

Bunny : (13:02)
Interesting. I mean, I’ll, I’ll be really honest, I have a a, I mean, like many people I suspect have a little bit of a, a fear of being alone with the horse because even though I grew up on a farm in the country, in a rural environment all my life, the only horse we ever owned in our family was a really mean little Shetland pony that

Lyn : (13:26)
Threw me.

Bunny : (13:28)
And I’m like, they’re so big. They take up so much space. I don’t have, um, the most positive experience with horses. So I, I would suspect that happens on occasion too, that, I mean, it’s not like I’m fearful, like I won’t be in the same space with them, but I’m very, um, uneasy around horses. Does that happen?

Lyn : (13:50)
Oh, uh, yes, it does happen. I always have a handler present in my session. So that is someone who’s focused on the horse so that I don’t have to break contact with the client in front of me. I can focus on the client. And the handler’s role is to make sure the client’s comfortable. Some people may not be happy or comfortable sitting in a meditation with the horse, having their nose on their forehead, standing above this . When you were

Bunny : (14:19)
Talking about that, I was like, Ooh. I was sort of, my brain was scrunching up it felt like, because I was like, Hmm, I don’t know. I mean,

Lyn : (14:27)
I bet

Bunny : (14:28)
I would, I would trust your processes, absolutely. But I suspect there are people who, um, who might find that a little daunting.

Lyn : (14:36)
Of course, yes. I, um, I do a safety demo at the beginning of every session, and I tell them, you know, about how to be safe around a horse. And, um, and I also say, if at any point you’re uncomfortable with where the horse is, just let the handler know and, and she’ll move the horse back. Um, so, so it’s, we’re very, very safe about how this is done. Um, I never just get in a round pin with a client and a horse. I’ve always got a handler present. So, um, and a lot of people, bunny are afraid of horses, but they wanna get over that fear. And so they come and, and work with us. And when I first got my certification, I worked with a woman who was deathly afraid of horses, and she had reason to be her mother had a very tragic accident on a horse.

Lyn : (15:37)
Um, but then her daughter decided she was horse crazy, and she wanted to support her daughter’s passion, but was, I mean, just terrified, terrified, terrified. And so we worked together in privately, um, and, and she would, we would monitor her pulse on her apple watch. And, and it was because it was, it was like, okay, we need to back up. And, and, and so we pushed, we worked with her, her comfort zone of where, where did she feel safe? And it was really, really neat to see her progress and be able to pet the horses. And, and after one session, she jokingly said, okay, I’m ready for a horse. Is that too quick? And I’m like, yeah, probably. So Wow. Wow. That’s a breakthrough. And and do you work with clients primarily alone or they, or in groups? How does it work? Either, both. Um, my, I, I love groups.

Lyn : (16:39)
I love the dynamic of a group. I love one-on-ones as well. There’s something, gestalt is very experi experimental. So what that means is, say Gestalt says, we all have unfinished business from our past that plays in a loop in our minds that really prevents us from being fully present in the here and now, and life is happening in the here and now. So when we have all of this unfinished business that we’re looping on, um, it really, it we gestalt I can set up an experiment to take that person back to that point in their life where they have the unfinished business and give them an opportunity to say what they wish they could have said. And, and it wasn’t taught to me this way, but I do a lot of, um, learning and studying on neuroplasticity and which is the brain, and we have these neural pathways, and, and that’s what the loop is.

Lyn : (17:44)
It’s a neural pathway that we keep walking down. I think of it like a, a trail that you always take and the grass gets worn down. And, and that’s what’s happening in our brain. Well, with Gestalt, we can create an experiment to take a person back to that place. And what I see, and again, Melissa May scold me for this, but , what I see is that it’s, we’re we’re just laying down the start of a new neural pathway when someone can go back and complete that unfinished business. So if, um, in a group, I can bring the group participants in to the experiment so I can have someone step in as mom or whoever the, the person, the perpetrator or whatever, I can have a person step in and play that role. And, and it’s so neat in a group, sometimes we do what’s called a family sculpture where I take someone back to 12 years old and where if, if this were a sculpture of your family, how would mom be positioned? Where would dad be? Who are the siblings? And I can get everybody in the group involved in this person’s piece of work. And bunny it is, I have goosebumps. It’s magic .

Bunny : (19:15)
I can’t imagine how powerful

Lyn : (19:17)
Can be. It’s amazing.

Bunny : (19:20)
Wow, that’s such a, I mean, that’s such a formative time anyway, but the way that I, I mean, I, I’m not an expert, but it does feel that the way that we were, um, formed and learned and informed at that time in our life, we carry it with this forever, right?

Lyn : (19:40)
That’s right. 12 years old is the time we really start individuating from our parents and our family, typically most often our same sex parent, how I’m gonna be like them, how I’m not gonna be like them. And it’s, we start looking outside of ourselves. And so that’s, um, it’s a really critical time in emotional development.

Bunny : (20:07)
I, I’m, I’m so fascinated. I, I can’t, I can’t really find words to talk about, but you, you’re doing something. Talk about what you’re doing on Wednesday nights, because I know there are people who are gonna wanna know about that.

Lyn : (20:18)
Okay. So Wednesday nights I do no coaching, and I do no gestalt . So I, I need to preface that Wednesday nights are a women’s connection circle. Something I have seen in my clients, especially post covid, I is this deep need for connection. And I, I just see it all the time where I’ve, and I, I’ve heard it a lot about, I’m having trouble getting like a, a support network. It hasn’t been my experience here, but I’ve heard that from a lot of people. Um, and so I, I thought about what, you know, what can I do to let people experience, get to know me and how I facilitate a group, get to know the horses, horses, and then experience these incredible Santa Fe sunsets. Um, so I created cowgirls horses and sunsets. So it’s an intro, just come out, connect with other women. I start with a safety demo and then a, a short guided meditation.

Lyn : (21:25)
That meditation helps people really tune into their higher self, their soul, however terminology you wanna say. But, um, I, I think of it as soul or higher self, but it really just quiets them down in the middle of the week to get in touch with themselves again. And then I facilitate deep conversation. So I send a question around, I have my, um, my pony, that’s kind of the Native American talking stick, the little stuffed pony that we toss around the circle. So whoever has the pony has, has the floor, and I have strong ground rules, no crosstalk, everybody’s divine. And we don’t need to give, um, advice. Let’s just let people be seen and heard. And, and so the connection that forms in that deep container that I set, it’s really beautiful. And then at the end, I have my handler kinda watch for, okay, sunset’s prime.

Lyn : (22:29)
We get up, we go into the larger paddock, um, and I invite people to, to go in quietly and set an intention for, um, something they want to do in the next week. That, and, and so I keep it very focused and, um, and so I, I let people, I ask people to be just go silently into the area with the horses, enjoy the sunset, and then again, I, and, and they can start talking between themselves and they do. And that’s part of the connection piece of it. Um, but then at the end, we all circle up and, and close out our circle with naming our intention. And, and it’s beautiful in facilitating those deep conversations. People really do make strong connections. Um, last summer I did 12 weeks and you can attend one summer all, and I had three women that pretty much came to every one of them. And, um, and so it’ll be interesting. I just, I, I love these Wednesday nights. It’s just a, a fun way to gather women who are really focused on, um, personal development and, um, and deep, you know, wanting deep connections with like-minded women.

Bunny : (23:54)
And I think some that’s hard for some people here. I mean, I, you and I are pretty, um, outgoing and, and I don’t get the impression that you have a hard time meeting people, but I have so many clients, so many real estate clients who move here and then don’t make deep connections. You know, I, I, you know, I take some of them to lunch together or I hook before, before, you know, if I got somebody who’s moving from the Bay Area, I try to introduce them to other clients I have who have moved from a similar area. But I do, every once in a while, uh, you know, I’ll reach out. I always reach out afterwards and I’ll say, how are things going? And they’ll say, oh, you know, my husband got so involved. He’s going, he’s biking with a group and he’s hiking with a group. I just don’t know what to do. So this is, this is really interesting what you’re doing, because I think it provides, um, it, it feels like the ground is pretty level for everybody who shows up. It’s not like I’m, I’m a better yoga, you know, I’m better at yoga than you are, or I’m, I’m, you know, I’m a better storyteller if I go to a writer’s group. This is just, everybody shows up at the same place, right?

Lyn : (25:04)
Correct. And I oftentimes say, when I start the circle, I don’t want your resume. I don’t, I want to know, share with us who you are as a woman. What do you stand for? And some people are like, what people

Bunny : (25:20)
Dunno, Lynn.

Lyn : (25:22)
I know. But that’s what’s, that’s so beautiful because it really gets them to thinking about what are my values? Who am I? Who am I, what do I stand for? And, um, it’s, it’s great because I really don’t let people get so into what do they do for a living? What are the labels they have? Um, and, and so I think that is a great joining place for people to come together and, um, and just, I mean, for me, I’m, I call myself an authenticity coach. I am all about like, who are you beneath all that social conditioning?

Bunny : (26:05)
Wow. Wow. And who are we? . That’s the hard part. Um, is there a cost for the Wednesdays?

Lyn : (26:12)
Yes, it’s $35 and the, uh, last Wednesday of the month, a hundred percent of the proceeds go to the horse shelter, which is a cause very near and dear to my heart. Um, and so yes, it’s, I I want them to be affordable so that everyone can experience being here and, and connecting with other women. Well,

Bunny : (26:36)
Lynn, I’m really excited about what you’re doing. Um, it’s, it’s, to me, this is a perfect example of how people show up in New Mexico and start changing their life and, and other people’s as well. I mean, it seems, um, I mean, this is a place where we get to be, um, authentically who we are. I, I, I don’t, I try not to have a pat answer, but just what we’ve been talking about feels so quintessentially new Mexican. I mean, thank you for doing that. How, how do people find you?

Lyn : (27:08)
I am, my website is blissful heart coaching.com. Uh, blissful has one L, not two, um, . And

Bunny : (27:19)
We’ll have a link, the show

Lyn : (27:21)
Link Perfect.

Bunny : (27:22)
To Lynn’s website in the show show notes driving. So

Lyn : (27:27)
That’s true. Yes. And I’m on Instagram at Lynn Carpenter, under coach and Facebook. I’m blissful heart coaching. Well,

Bunny : (27:37)
I’m so excited first of all that we got to meet in the way that we did. And I just wanna say that if Lynn Arnold, who, who was one of my dearest friends and who, um, died of metastatic lung cancer, um, if she were here, she would be in the middle of that circle. I know. She, she would,

Lyn : (27:56)
I feel her all the time. I know. She’s, I know she’s here cheering us on .

Bunny : (28:03)
She is. Thank you so much for what you do.

Lyn : (28:05)
Oh, thank you, bunny. I really appreciate the opportunity.

Bunny : (28:09)
Thanks to all of you for taking the time to listen to the I Love New Mexico podcast. If you’ve enjoyed this episode, please feel free to share it with your friends on social media or by texting or messaging or emailing them a copy of the podcast. If you have a New Mexico story that you’d like to share with us, don’t hesitate to reach out. Our email address is I love New Mexico blog@gmail.com and we are always, always looking for interesting stories about New Mexico. Subscribe, share, and write a review so that we can continue to bring you these stories about the land of enchanted. Thank you so much.